Wednesday, April 7, 2010

mid-twenty something girl

Last Friday I turned 25. Twenty-five, my goodness, still getting used that dreaded number.  I've been dreading this birthday for a few years now and it's finally come and gone.  Everyone keeps telling me I'm crazy to think that life is over or that I'm an old woman now that I'm 25, but it's not so much the number so much as my life in general.  My 16 year old self expected so much for my 25 year old self.  I imagined I would have a fabulous job in a BIG city and a doting boyfriend that would be proposing to me in my 25th year.  Sadly, as last Friday rolled around I was 0 for 3.  I had anticipated crying on my 25th birthday even years before it came to pass but as I pulled myself out of bed last Friday I vowed to not cry that day.  Fast forward ten hours later and I was in tears as I got ready for dinner.  I've been a mix of emotions lately so the 25th birthday was just icing on the cake.  That night I celebrated with friends and family but quite honestly was so happy when it was over.

Birthdays can be difficult, this certainly wasn't the first birthday I cried on and I'm sure it won't be the last.  I think as a general rule we tend to put a lot pressure on birthdays and have high expectations.  Birthdays can be a lot like New Years Eve.  You expect so much to come out of this grand night and usually you're let down. I think I had already set myself up by being terrified of turning 25, I don't think anything could have pulled me out of my funk on that day.

Now that the day and weekend have passed and 25 just becomes another age, I've been able to realize how incredibly blessed I am.  The cards and gifts that poured in in the last week should have been enough to pull any scared 24 year old out of her funk.  If anything this birthday showed me how loved I really am and how lucky I am to have such an amazing group of friends and family.  Even though it took a few days to realize how loved I am, I want to thank all of you for making me feel so special on my BIG day, ya'll know who you are and I love you more than words can say!

My fabulous birthday cards on display